How I Became A Riot Grrrl By Accident

In highschool, I had very few friends, and they were all younger than me and took advantage of the fact that I had a job and money to buy weed.  So, really, I had no real friends at all, except my boyfriend, who was sexually abusing me.  I didn’t enjoy lunchtime at school because I really had no one to sit with and talk to, so I spent my lunchtime in the library, on the computer, because the internet was the newest thing at school.  It was around 1995. So, one day, particularly angry about my boyfriend’s recent abuse, I looked up feminism in the search engine.  Lots of stuff came up, but I gravitated to the articles about what riot grrrls were doing across the U.S.A. I read about Kathleen Hanna, lead singer of Bikini Kill, and the angry feminist punk rockers that were fighting for their cause, how people were filming them for the news and interviewing them because they were different.  I wrote down the band names, like Bikini Kill, Bratmobile, and Sleater-Kinney.  Those are the bands I started with, but later branched out into The Third Sex, The Frumpies, Cub, The Red Aunts, Boyskout, Heavens to Betsy, The Bonnot Gang, Team Drecsh and others.  There was a local record shop that sold underground band records, cd’s, and tapes.  I bought most of my music there.  In the library, I also found addresses of grrrls from around the U.S.A. to write to about my abuse issues and other things that were awkward in my life at the time.  I received letters, cards, and even a tape and t-shirt.  I know I’m older now, and those bands I once listened to have almost all broke up by now, but I still love their music.  As Alison from Bratmobile sang, will I be punk for the rest of my life?  Good question…I really hope so.  I hope I grow up to be a real rockin’ grannie.  I’ll enjoy my youth while I still have it though.